Transforming the Darkness

I am vibing hard this rainy afternoon.

Sometimes rainy days feel gloomy.. but this one feels so cozy today. I feel held by the shadowy skies as I’ve got my candles glowing, incense blasting, and sipping on some warm cacao. Listening to a soft mystical playlist I spontaneously put together, so good I have to share it here.

Feeling so WARM, I am SO excited to be writing today – I have so much to share.

I want to share the most incredible things I have been learning the past few weeks. Life seems to be shifting so fast. I have to be honest – I feel like I have climbed up out of another (or several) layers of Dante’s Inferno. And by that I simply mean, through awareness and practice, I feel a new unconditional lightness in life that one can’t help but want to learn and teach.

And indeed, it did come after one of the darkest and most challenging seasons of my life.. that just seems to be how it goes! IF only we could REALLY remember this when those deep challenges are happening that they are often truly the greatest blessings in the long run.. for it is often through suffering deeply that we are pushed to let go of the illusions that created suffering in the first place.

Ascension – as they call it – evolution in human consciousness.. or rather, the remembrance and return to that which we truly are and have always been, beyond the sleep of seperation we’ve been in… is truly never what we expect. It feels to me – it is not attaining something we don’t have – it really is letting go of all the attachments and dreams and illusions we have had. We have always been eternal awareness.. we have never really been these separate dreams.

As we peel back the layers, we are left with the truth of what we are: an eternal child of God.. perfect love.

It is not something that we necessarily get from chasing things outside of us, by learning a ton of concepts, by bypassing ANYTHING or repressing anything or dwelling on anything.. the only way I can explain it (in my experience) is that these things all are just ways to bring you back home – but to come home… is just a soft acknowledgement of the truth again and again. Or sometimes a hard acknowledgement of the truth. The truth of your eternal nature. Of YOU beyond the material, beyond space and beyond time. Of presence. Of perfect love. Of awareness.

But I digress – I want to dive deep into all of this below. So perhaps it is your turn to brew a cozy drink, light a candle, make your space feel like a cuddle in itself, as you relax into this read.

1. Presence

Awareness is the “Answer”.

There comes a point in life- or perhaps several points deeper and deeper – where you get so exhausted with your ego’s obsession with suffering and running in delusional circles, that you’re truly ready to give it up. It just gets too obvious, repetitive, and ridiculous.

This means you are then ready to fully commit to that which you are, that you’re ready to COMMIT to the ETERNAL NOW MOMENT: presence. True liberation. Freedom.

It’s a practice ;). Please be patient and faithful with yourself and with others.

The ego spends its life fighting and resisting the present moment. That is because the ego’s entire purpose is to preserve it’s very confusing, very disassociated existence (or more accurately, its lack of existence). And so it knows that PRESENCE is its end. Deep down YOU know this. True presence is ego death, again and again. The ego will always come up with tricky ways to keep you stuck in the past, in the future, or in some abstract mental hell realm that doesn’t really exist. To be here now, as much as you can, is liberation and access to paradise within always.. regardless of what is happening.

For as you cultivate presence you cultivate perfect love, where there could never be fear or lack. This is the beginning of true knowledge. You are no longer a victim to life – you are in the seat of the master you are and you are shining YOUR light on ALL that comes into your field.

In a way, it really is that simple. There are a lot of shiny objects and ideas in the realm of spirituality, but I don’t think anything could compare to the truth of WAKING UP – meaning, being AWARE. PRACTICING the skill of awareness – of watching your thoughts, your self, your world, your experience from the deeper self and not identifying with it, but knowing thyself. Seeing the thoughts/old identities fully. Having compassion and forgiveness for them. Holding space for these ego parts again and again until they naturally pass away back into the eternal nature of that which you are.. which can be very uncomfortable at first – but so worth it as they dissolve back into now. As you become more awake, you realize how potent ALL of your thoughts ARE in creating your heaven or making your hell.

What is also beautiful – is that the light is always shining on you – it is just a matter of allowing the light to shine through you. Healing is ALWAYS trying to happen for you and IS happening for you – so long as you’re not desperately blocking it with your own fear and need to try to control things from the ego mind. We are often the ones that prolong our pain by grabbing onto it and arguing for our own limitations.

My entire priority the past few weeks more than ever has been practicing being AWAKE – being here now – and also realizing that pretty much all of my thoughts and the things I see around me are a part of a ephemeral dream.. and starting to look and know beyond it: eternity. The kingdom of God.

As I keep experiencing this I have to laugh because – it is so hard to put into words! And yet the truth itself feels so simple. I can’t help but wonder if this is God’s sense of humor.. our sense of humor. The truth lives in plain sight – it is not hidden because it has never been hidden.. we have simply been conditioned to not be able to see it (ie living in the dream).

I have shed some deep “doer” and “fixer” parts of myself that have been running on autopilot since I was a child – resulting in loops of scarcity and confusion – trying to make things out of a place of fear and lack. My days lately I have been so present, as I truly embody the truth that I don’t have to – and actually CANNOT – do anything to prove my worth or make myself more worthy than I already am and always have been and always will be.

My only goal – as far as I can help it – is to return to the kingdom of God. I have no will to pledge my allegiance to fear and ego as I KNOW it only leads to more seperation, pain, suffering, and nothingness. I say this truly and also humbly.. as I know the programming is DEEP.

2. The Ego

The Fear.

It has never been more clear to me the ego: its voice, its function, its sickness, its symptoms, and its goals.

It is a false (not real) part of our self that we MADE, in order to survive in low density realms. It is an immature, separation consciousness hallucination that keeps us in a disassociated, non-existent state of reality. And I say this with love, but it must be said bluntly.

It is a state of being that occurs when we (humanity) chose to try to separate from God. It is a split consciousness. It is an insane consciousness. It exists, abides, and creates perceptions (or rather misperceptions) that do not really exist – they are real to us because we made them and experience them very “real”.. but in being separate from God (aka separate from who we really are) they create an artificial “dream” reality that is temporary, ephemeral, and again.. does not really exist within the eternal kingdom of God (where we ALL eternally be and dwell regardless of how deep in the dream of unconsciousness we are).

It is a voice of deprivation, seperation, desperation, lack, attack, hatred, despair, and above all… FEAR.

Because HOW COULD YOU NOT BE SCARED SHITLESS WHEN YOU’RE LIVING IN A REALITY THAT DOES NOT EXIST. How could you not be terrified when you are living in a dream that you are SEPARATE from God, separate from love, separate from your true self, basically separate from ALL THAT TRULY MATTERS TO YOU? I mean.. thats scary!! What a crazy game we have been playing with ourselves here! And that is okay! It is okay to play the game. My point is – the game is a lot more fun to play when you know you are playing it.

It doesn’t feel much like a game when it’s all you perceive as real. But as you practice the awareness I am speaking of you will remember and then know for yourself that it is indeed a dream, a game that we are playing that we no longer have be victims to.

We must learn how to see fear for what it is. Fear produces a state that does not exist. It is not real because it is not real in the kingdom of God. It only exists in the mind’s matrix of seperation.

I say this not to invalidate you, but to free you.

You can feel it, you can heal it, you can release it through your body as we often have to do. That is beautiful. Ask the Light you are to HEAL YOUR MIND of ALL perceptions that keep you believing in your fear. Your fear is your responsibility to heal. When you truly stop believing in the validity of fear your entire life will upgrade. Now – this is a journey for all of us in learning how to undo fear- I say we aim for this AND be extremely patient and faithful with ourselves along the way.

To conclude the ego IS fear. You cannot serve two masters. You are either serving fear (ego illusion, seperation, false) or you are serving the TRUTH (perfect love, eternity, unity with God). Be vigilant of this and you will be amazed at how quickly you can return home.

3. Importance of Thoughts and Perceptions

THERE ARE NO IDLE THOUGHTS. All thought produces form on some level.

This is why we have to watch our thoughts. To be a good creator, we have to first be a good observer. If you do not know what thoughts are going on in your mind all day, or if you identify with them, you will be broadcasting them and experiencing them all over the place. You really are THIS powerful. God gave you a creative mind that is potent. To deny this is futile. You are a child of GOD and your thoughts ALWAYS create – again either truly creating your heaven or falsely making your hell. Always.

Only the TRUTH can be KNOWN – but ANYTHING can be perceived. The world of perception – which is the world of the programmed mind – can be seen as anything all day. It is whatever the mind of perceiver wishes to see, and then experiences.

While truth is ALWAYS present in REALity (you have ALWAYS been in the eternal kingdom).. truth need not be present in the dream of seperation. Perceptions (or often misperceptions) are subjective, chaotic and contradict and conflict with one another all the time. In fact, our perceptions can’t help but clash with one another. Our perceptions are almost entirely based on our human conditioning and continuing in a loop of our past stories.

When you are present and not identifying with thoughts, you can realize how much your meaningless thoughts are creating a meaningless world (to be frank).. and again, reality can start to shift quickly – from the inside out (as all true shifts happen).

4. Forgiveness

All of this said- FORGIVENESS is going to be the MEDICINE for us all. Forgiveness is a true beauty of love.

As you become more awake to the truth, you will see MORE unconsciousness – first in yourself and also in your brothers and sisters. THE KEY TO UNDO THE ILLUSION IS NEVER ATTACK, but FORGIVENESS.

ANY TIME you attack another human you are indeed hurting yourself, just as when you attack yourself. It is not serving. It must be completely released. The only one who thinks attack is justified is the immature ego, because that is how it maintains its separate illusionary life. Attacking will never serve your spirit. Attack is not the proper defense. The entire urge to attack is rooted in seperation. When you want to attack or judge yourself or another you can be certain you are in seperation. For God does not ever wish to attack.

The only goal of unity consciousness is to heal the seperation and celebrate God’s kingdom. To see the mind’s pain, and heal the mind of its sickness. It is not healed by attack, but by atonement. By the awareness of GOD in YOU to SEE that which is separate and heal it in yourself by realizing it is not of God’s creation – letting God shine light on it – intend for God’s miracles to bless it. This is the only goal of the miracle minded.. to be TRULY helpful and follow God’s will. For God’s will IS your will – when you are aligned with God’s will is when you, a child of God, will truly feel fulfilled and at peace. And you will understand your invincibility.

5. Reprogramming the Avatar

Finally! All of this said.. this is a war in the mind. The battlefield is IN THE MIND. This is all about healing your mind of its pain and illusions and helping others to do the same- because THEY ARE YOU and you are them. The world you see around you is the mind of the collective pushed outwards. You heal it by healing the world within you, everyday. That is really why you are here.

That said, you can learn things in your mind quickly. You can realize the truth in a matter of seconds.

But to ACTUALIZE it is to EMBODY it – and that is the real “work”.

To EMBODY it is to REPROGRAM IT into the avatar – into your body – into your subconscious mind.

This is about TRAINING THE BODY to be in new, truer ways.

Your body/avatar is probably used to being in states of lack, fear, anger, sorrow, ego, SEPERATION (the conditioning of the world)- you will notice this on different levels as you WATCH from unconditioned awareness. It will become so clear. The body autopilots into what is familiar for it when we go unconscious.

So this is where meditation in any form comes in. This is about teaching the body to be in new ways – for the body – is a temple, is an instrument.

The more you can train your body to be in states of gratitude, abundance, love, joy, peace, presence – the more these higher states will become your baseline – the more you will see your reality match these states by offering you everything you need and want always.. without the ego trying to control everything from the outside in. This is when you will notice tangible, lasting effects in your entire reality (again, from the inside out). Be patient, for the density will start to lighten as you commit to this practice.

You will find an effective way to SEE and RELEASE old pain when it arises compassionately, without having to comment on it or justify it or linger in it any longer than is needed for its healing/release.

I will tell you, the reprogramming of my avatar has been one of my main practices the past couple days and it is such a game changer. I sit with my body throughout the day, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep.. teaching it that it is safe, it is supported, it is held, it is loved, it is blessed, it is abundant, etc. And this is how we come out of states of worry and deprivation (seperation) and truly experience heaven on earth every day – because heaven IS HERE NOW ALWAYS – regardless of what happens on the outside. The mind REAL-izes (remembers) this, trains the body, and now we can experience more unity consciousness (aka, true PEACE) in each moment.

We get to anchor in these higher states and make no mistake – they do indeed spread like wildfire through the mind of the species. And this is the TRUE “Great Awakening”.

Nothing really can stop it – for we are all eternal always. The return home is guaranteed – it is only a matter of how and when.

Conclusion

Awakening is practicing being aware, releasing the fear and ego illusions, remembering and knowing the power of your mind, FORGIVING all, and reprogramming the avatar with this divine knowledge.

This is really the most exciting frontier of consciousness for humanity that I can imagine.

The joy I feel about it is indescribable. It is truly the joy that can only come from within, from God, from being a child of God that can’t help but absolutely overwhelm all illusions of the material world with grace. This is the times we are in as a collective.

It is about re-cognizing that which is true and real and renouncing all that is not. This is LIBERATION. This is GODS WILL. There is really nothing dogmatic about it in experience, for dogma (imprisonment) is completely that of the ego. God is eternally free and wills for your true freedom.

This is perfect love. This is eternal peace. God IS eternal peace – and so are you when you come back into what you are.

What a freaking joy.

Thank you for reading and I hope this blesses you and all around you. Thank you for being here.

If you’d like to work with me, check out my website here for current available services and classes.