This full moon was a doozy for me. 🌝
Storytime.
I have been calling in a new level of love, abundance, connection, and joy in life. A new FREEDOM that I have deeply desired for many years and though I have been working diligently at it nonstop – it hasn’t been until recently I truly saw the blocks that have been keeping me from getting the results I want. Divine timing is too.
Nonetheless – I am at a point in my life where I’m truly/finally willing and able to take the full responsibility needed to make my dreams a reality – a new state for me, after being “stuck” for a very long time, wondering why I couldn’t seem to HOLD the energy I so deeply wanted and could taste.
I want to explain this feeling for anyone who is on the path. When you are really ready to start seeing next level results in your life – it is a knowing. You really have to know… not just hope.
To KNOW that there is an important reason for the expansive desires in your heart (God wants to experience that expansion THROUGH you) and that you have all you need to make them happen and STOP entertaining the doubt. God – the doubt used to get me. Doubt really is a useless thought, because the worse thing that could happen when you go for it is you fail and just get up and try again (those “failures” are essential to success) and God really does hold you through all of it. But I digress.
The path to your greatest destiny is not going to be easy but it is designed FOR you divinely. It is a balance of active, passive, and neutral energies.. working, allowing, and surrendering. The challenges along the way are there to make you into the person you must become to hold that new frequency. And when you go full in on that and stop the wondering “if” it can happen and commit to knowing it WILL happen (just a matter of how and when) things really change. When you start to see that there is no other option but to follow the calling in your spirit – that the calling is the only thing that actually makes sense, everything changes. It may be hard – but not following the calling and being a casualty of your logical programmed mind is just a slow (even harder) death. And it seems it gets worse as you get older because the more inclined you are to deny your souls calling and follow what’s “safe”. Even though your souls calling is actually way more safe than your egos 😅.
If one could be “lost” in life – it would be from the denying of God’s calling to you. That is what seems to really mess people up.
Many successful people (successful inside and out) will tell you – the path appears as you walk in faith with God (whatever “God” is to you) and do the work – and this is truth – however if you are in loops of trauma and doubt it can be really fucking hard to get out of that. It creates a real feedback loop that can be confusing to see while you’re in it and you start to wonder if that really is true at all. At that point people start to get mad at God (or think God is mad at them). But you will, as I did, find a way eventually. And perhaps like me and many others you will be really excited to help others assassinate their doubt once you see clearly.
This past week my life fell apart in a sense – as if it weren’t already a mess (lol) but old dynamics in relationships between family and my partner were completely exposed, destroyed, and reborn.
The funny thing is – even though I had A LOT of emotional and mental purging (which thankfully I have the skills to move through easily enough) – I didn’t worry or doubt at all the whole time through it. Maybe a tiny bit – but I have learned how to relentlessly advocate for myself despite any doubts or subconscious urges or discouraging events. Deep down I knew with every fiber of my being that these things “seeming” to fall apart were absolutely NEEDED so that I could come into the blessings I have been asking for and diligently working for. In a way I was actually excited because I knew those old dynamics of, simply put, putting up with a lot of stupid shit in order to try make people happy (even though they still weren’t happy), were HUGE blocks for me AND my business (an extension of me) and were a large part of why I couldn’t ever hold on to my power in any sense past a certain level. And that to step into this next level – that pattern would have to be transformed.
Empaths here will relate – as a child it was deeply instilled in me to put others before myself. I have done this a lot with certain family members – trying to help them, so worried about them, suffering so much for them – just for them to (frankly) not give a fuck or even resent me for it. It finally dawned on me that blatantly. Without blaming them or myself – just realizing that is my unconscious (now conscious) coping mechanism that I finally put to rest this week. It was such a massive drain on my energy and power for many years. And I am so grateful for all of it because it all was a part of my journey.
In a way it was me trying to control people and situations in order to feel safe because again – it was a survival mechanism. These cursed “empath” dysfunctions that look so nice on the outside but are really just a pain in the ass for everyone, lol.
This is why being “selfish” is a good thing. Because really – if we’re going to take accountability for our lives – which we must do eventually if we want to have the best life – we must ask and answer the question: is it really other people that is bothering me, or is it me? Is it other people we need to change, or is it ourselves we need to change? I can understand it is tempting to want to blame and change other people and that other people do hurt us – but at some point we have to evolve in a way where we are positioning ourselves to be SOVEREIGN. Again, I digress.
I must say it blatantly because even at the age of 28 I feel too old to be mincing words. So many “empaths” of the world have so much Light to bring to this world – for their sake AND humanity’s sake – and remain stuck because they are still trying to be so “nice”. I really get it. But as we know.. “nice” and “kind” aren’t always the same thing.
Almost as soon as these old patterns truly were put to rest (they fell apart before me) was when I had an explosion of new people contacting me to want to work with me. I am bursting with ideas and excitement. As you may have experienced or heard and I am testifying now – sometimes when things are “seeming” (I love that word) to all be falling apart – if you just hold the faith and stay focused on your vision – it means the biggest blessings are coming around the bend if you just keep walking the path with faith. And in the example I share today it makes so much sense.
Only when I finally stopped “looking for love in all the wrong places” so to speak – stopped putting myself in situations where I repeatedly am taking a form of abuse and blaming it all on myself and never taking a step back to see what is going on, and started carrying a new level of self-love, self-respect and integrity – everything I had been working on seemed to come pouring in. It’s so obvious to me now, even though I was blind to it for years.
And compassion. Not a “let me keep staying in these crazy loops for you” compassion – but rather a “I’m going to let this go and follow God’s calling” compassion. It has been such a relief and blessing for me. And while it is still early.. I feel it will be a blessing for them as well in the long run. I’ll have to report back on that later once things continue to unfold 😉
This is still fresh so I am still trying to articulate something very subtle and real in a way that is obvious – but if you know, you know.
And if you needed any sign of permission to give yourself to stop sacrificing your energy on things or patterns or people that refuse to evolve and start opening up to something higher – something deeper… this may be it.
You of all people DESERVE to thrive and there is a divine blueprint JUST FOR YOU – no matter where you’re at in life – to do just that. That much I know. To God/Higher Self/Universe/Great Mystery – our impossible problems are very much solvable. But we have to learn how to TRULY see it and hear it and follow it – the GOD frequency – rather than our programmed logical mind which is so very limiting (and looping).
I feel so blessed. Literally as everything was “falling apart” I was thanking God for interrupting these patterns that have been weighing on me for so long. I knew they were answers to my prayers and I was not afraid.
And now I get to tell the tale.
I am so excited.
And I really wish this inspiration for everyone.
Life is funny. And fun. Or so it is supposed to be. Again – I know that much. Sometimes we take things far too seriously. As Alan Watts said – man suffers because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.
I always liked that saying, “Be sincere, not serious”. It doesn’t mean this life isn’t very, very important and meaningful – but the more playful you can be, the easier it can be to move mountains with faith.
There is wisdom in making peace with all that is in every moment. With falling in love with the NOW unconditionally and realizing the Truth is always here, despite the external circumstances.
Yet, at least for me, we are still here to create the life we want – like a magnificent, multidimensional, divine piece of art. The calling in our heart is what we came here for.
To live fully, in my opinion, is to balance both of these paradigms – knowing the eternal real love within – AND fusing it into the external reality and making your life fucking awesome. Whatever that means to you. You know… because your soul knows.
I used to think I shouldn’t care about making my life better because I knew the kingdom was within. True.
But we are here! Do you not feel that sacred urge to make life more beautiful and free and expansive – for yourself and for all? To me – that is also God.
And despite being born into such a rough and heavy paradigm I know there are different octaves of consciousness that are possible on this Earth Plane and I am very excited to continue to climb up them like Jacob’s ladder.
I already feel so much more free than I used to inside and out – and I know there are new levels for me and for all of us.
To me – that is a part of playing the Earth game. And I am so grateful to be here doing just that.
To conclude this, as I could ramble on endlessly, I’d just like to say… fuck the doubt.
Seriously. I know it is not always that simple but as someone who has been the most DOUBTFUL ASS… the doubt is truly meaningless. At least when it comes to your calling. It is a waste of time and energy and if you don’t want to play the doubt game anymore give yourself permission not to. We are creator beings. We deCIDE. To decide means to make a choice and cut off all other possibilities. To do that you need to stop doubting and going back and forth all the time. Just decide. It’s a full body choice. And even not making a choice is a choice so… let’s get clear on what WE are creating and be willing to face any “karma” that comes up as a result of our commitment to liberation.
Again – I know it isn’t always easy to just “decide” when you have been playing in doubtful loops for so long but – the sooner you move towards it, the sooner you will know it at some point.
Incredible love to all of you beautiful souls. Thank you so much for rocking with me. I really appreciate you all and love you all and am mind blown by this journey. I can’t wait.
If you’d like to work with me at this time I currently have a 3 month container for helping empath mystics to open their voice and stepping deeper into their purpose, which you can check out more here or send me an e-mail. I still have 2 spots open this month at a discounted price before the Gregorian new year.
I also have Reiki sessions and readings available here.
And many more writings, videos, songs, and poems to come.
I also want to mention – I know most of you are on my YouTube but I also have an instagram where I get to share a lot more frequent and intimate content so if you’re on there find me at the_revolutionary_mystic.
Okay okay okay… BIG LOVE TO YOU ALL and until next time keep shining bright and don’t let me catch you doubting your beautiful soul ever again 😉
Love and gratitude,
Regan
Transforming the Darkness 