Transforming the Darkness

Here is a life changing practice.. what if you started falling in love with your deepest fears?

I know that sounds super paradoxical- but such is life.

This is a practice I have been implementing in my life recently, and I must say it is quite wonderful. It has assisted me in experiencing great shifts in a small period of time. So I am going to do my best to articulate what I mean by this.

Standing in Your Wholeness

Though we are much higher dimensional consciousnesses capable of experiencing complete union with our creator- we still live in a field of intense duality.

Duality: the splitting of a whole creating the illusion of two opposites.

Duality: a HUGE cause of so much human suffering.

A lot of trying to avoid the darkness/negativity, and cling to the light/positivity, yet in doing so, resisting what is naturally trying to unfold. Yet there is great power in seeing and accepting the WHOLE.

I don’t know about you- but I typically experience a WIDE spectrum of thoughts and feelings throughout my day. Sometimes I am swimming in gratitude and joy – VERY easy states to be in.

At other times, intense fears arise. Anxiety, guilt, confusion, shame, lack, doubt, etc.

I always do my best to see, feel, acknowledge, and honor these lower states too. My aim is not to dwell in them- but also not to repress them or deny them or bypass them. I have found the most courageous thing we can do is accept and feel these states- as they are part of life too. And when we can allow ourselves to just SEE and FEEL them in our bodies- we are able to naturally heal and transmute and evolve. We FLOW more easily through the highs and lows.

That said, when it comes to these lower states I sometimes feel like a mad scientist, observing my reactions to them, how it influences my reality, and how I can flow with them in more ease and grace.

I see often, no matter how much I have practiced standing in my own darkness, that I often STILL will try to run away, to escape it, to deny it, to try to “fix it” so that it can just “go away”. I watch all of these things happen and I do my best to simply see how deeply I can see, feel, and understand these energies- to the best of my ability, without judging them or trying to just get rid of them- but to genuinely allow them to show me…. and it really is in THIS energy where the greatest, most GOLDEN transformations happen.

It can be so hard for the ego to understand or accept the goldmines that are these experiences.

Because it is SCARY. The ego is designed to protect us from scary. Deep in our programming, when anything in the realm of “scary” arises, there is a deep paradigm that “this should NOT be there” or “this should NOT be happening, this is NOT okay”. Sometimes followed by thoughts like- “there is something wrong with me, wrong with life”, and finally, “I need to do….. so that I can get out of this”. We contract, we resist our pain. And all of this- is perfectly okay too.

I observe these processes deeply and it is pretty wild.

HOWEVER, my point today is a massive paradigm shift that I recently had- what if I actually fell in LOVE with these fears?

I mean genuinely, fell in love with them?

What if I lived in a way where I could fall in love with my fears, and live as if I had CHOSEN them?

What would happen if I lived each moment as if I had specifically chosen everything about it?

So I tried it.

And WOW, has it been freaking powerful.

As soon as I genuinely choose to LOVE these sensations of fear and feel them all as if I had SPECIFICALLY CHOSEN to feel them… it is almost as if they immediately evaporate. The fears that haunt us are so DEEPLY rooted in our not wanting them to be there. Think about that for a second.

The second you choose to WANT it there, courageously, it has no power over you anymore. You actually allow it to be okay and furthermore fall in love with it.

Falling in love with fear. With failure. With being broke. With being “not good enough”. With WHATEVER it is that has been scaring you and most likely, CONTROLLING you.

Strange it is, that only when you fall in love with death, can you fully LIVE. Metaphorically and literally.

There is such power in falling in love with the things you have been scared of. It is not that we are necessarily aiming to be afraid, to be broke, to be unworthy, or any of that. We have high intentions of deep love, peace, abundance, worthiness, etc. But since we live in duality- there is a necessity to be able to stand firmly in your light, AND in your dark. And very importantly- to learn how to not be controlled by it. To remain, in LOVE.

If you are disgusted by your own fear, it will control you. If you fall in love with it, it will have to diminish. The moment you want it there, it evaporates. This has been my experience. I am practicing falling in love with everything that I have been so scared of in the past and I am truly amazed at how much fear cannot exist in you when you fall in love with it. Again, it’s power over you is almost entirely based on how much you don’t want it to be there. But when it is there and you accept it and love it- you are less and less controlled by it.

And considering we are all coming out of the paradigm of fear-based mind control- I’d say that is pretty damn amazing!! For us to continue to remember who we are and that we cannot be controlled by these illusions any more- a little less each day.

It is very powerful to be able to stand in your light and in your darkness remembering who you really are- an infinite, brave, powerful, loving, protected Child of God.

I hope this is helpful and I invite you to practice! Again so simple.. when fear arises.. see it, allow it, feel it, listen to it… and then fall in love with it as if you have CHOSEN for it to be there. And you will discover that fear consciousness- as insidious as it is and can be- actually makes for the greatest master teacher when we can no longer be controlled by it.

Coming out of the control of fear asks us to become more loving and more powerful than anything I can imagine.

And in that light, your fear becomes not an obstacle to overcome for your mastery- but the WAY of your mastery; a gift; an opportunity to realize who you actually ARE- and who you’re not.